i love this song..

:When Everything Comes Back Together:.

When It seems like things never go right in this world anymore,
Have you ever stopped to wonder if you deserved it?
When you feel at your worst,
Have you ever stopped to think if thats what you get?

When things went right,
Have you ever stopped to appreciate them?
When you got the things you wanted,
Did you stop to thank anyone?

So many people go through life,
without even taking a moment to appreciate what they have.
So many people go through life,
without having anything and yet they still appreciate what little they have.

Why is it so hard to take even the smallest moment out of our days,
and just say thank you?
Is it really that hard,
or are people so greedy that what they have is never enough?

When everything comes back together,
after everything was at its worse,
did you ever stop to give thanks for that,
I know I did.

How is it so easy that we can take,
Yet its so hard for us to give?
If it was so easy for him to give,
Why is it so hard for us.

Sometimes I wonder how we could change,
maybe if we saw from the point of view,
that some people have,
we might change the way we live.

Maybe it will be easier to give,
because you realized how some people live,
but its sad that sometimes,
this is the only way people care.

When everything comes back together,
maybe the world will realize whats going on,
maybe the world will be kinder,
maybe the world will change its ways.

Most annoying people on airplanes...

Sometimes I think to myself that I would rather dispense a kidney stone through my urethra than deal with some of the people who board airplanes on a daily basis in the United Kingdom.
Flying is undeniably the most convenient, yet most unpleasant forms of travel. No one gets off the hook with this list - and if you did, consider yourself lucky.

1.Southwest Line Nazi

It’s usually that middle-aged woman with the Christmas sweater vest and shoulder pads who thinks it’s her responsibility to micromanage every last person who stands in line for a Southwest flight.

Before the recent line changes, she would question your place in line with a stare - now with the new Letter/Number system, she has cold-hard evidence that you are not where you are assigned in line. “Excuse me, your ticket says A30, not A29 … please move back 6 inches ….



2.The Unprepared Baggage Digger

Step 1: Decide what you want with you for the duration of flight
Step 2: Remove said items from bag, place in hand or pocket
Step 3: Board flight with items in hand so you can easily place bag in overhead compartment.

It’s that simple, people. Remember that there is a line of people directly behind you while boarding an airplane. Be prepared before you get to your seat. Simplicity.

3.The “Make Yourself At Home” -ier

Your feet smell like roses. Has anyone ever told you that? Your shit doesn’t stink either. Do you know where those airplane pillows have been? Do you think they wash those? Imagine washing your face with 100s of other people’s oily faces and oral secretions. Like 10% of people floss - now imagine those people drooling on your face. That’s basically what you’re doing when you use the airplane pillows.


4.Laptop Movie Watcher With No Headphones

Either A) This person forgot their headphones, or B) They have a complete disregard for the respect of others around them.

Whichever reason it may be, there is absolutely no excuse to play re-runs of Busom Buddies at maximum volume through your computer speakers.

5.End of Flight Runner

Getting off the plane 90 seconds before everyone else is at the top of your priorities. Wait like everyone else? Wait your turn to get off the plane? Nooooo. You grab your Sharper Image briefcase as soon as the “fasten your seatbelt sign” is dis-illuminated and you proceed to haul ass like a bat out of hell to the front of the plane. Don’t worry, the rest of us aren’t eager to get off the plane. This type of flier is a rare breed - but the next time I come across this guy I will not think twice about sticking my leg out and accidentally tripping him.

6.Small Bladder Window-Sitter

Y ou’re in your 30s, yet sitting in the window seat still makes you act like a nine-year-old. Google Earth - Download it. You can sit in the window seat from the comfort of your own home - you can even zoom in! There should also be a maximum number of bathroom visits for the occupant of a window seat: one. You get one free pass.


7.Sick People

We should all have the self-awareness to know when to spend the day in bed. Coughing, sneezing, wheezing, high temperature - these should all be signs to leave your sick ass at home.

Your nose is flowing like the Niagara while I’m using my napkin as a makeshift Oxygen mask.

8.Full Meal Eater

You’re about to get on an airplane with 100 other people in an 800-square-foot fuselage with questionable central air and you decide it’s a great idea to enjoy a goddamn 3-course meal at 30,000 feet. Eating it in the food court just doesn’t suit you. The awful stench from your Taco Bell bean burrito permeates the cabin for the entire duration of the 2 hour flight. Never mind the guy sitting 3 inches from you - it’s your world.

9. Babies

You’re so damn needy. Grow up. You always need supervision and if things don’t go your way, you totally go ape shit. I, for one, am sick of babies getting babied.

Man up, sit down, shut up, eat your processed cauliflower in a can and let me enjoy my iPod touch and the latest Harry Potter novel.

10.The Human Sewage Plant

Kill me now. What is the deal with body odor? You’ve purchased an airline ticket, surely you can afford the following: deodorant, floss, toothpaste, soap, shampoo, breath mints, gum.

There is no shame in taking at least one shower a day and brushing your teeth after every meal. Simple hygiene should be forced upon some people to board an airplane.

Have you ever come across any of these people on your flights? What about yourself, are you guilty of being one of these annoying people?

i am lonely..

I'm not overly willing to admit to this for a couple of reasons. First, because to admit that I am lonely requires admitting to myself that whatever there was between myself and the guy I've been involved with of late is pretty much gone, and that I can no longer relate to many of my friends. Second, because it is a display of my own weakness. Third, because my self esteem is absolutely in the toilet right now, because I always thought that if I wanted to, I could change my situation and not feel this way, however, this assumption is rapidly and repeatedly being proven false, because it is very much more difficult than that.

I'm a very talkative person. Sometimes I think I drive people crazy because if you don't end the conversation, I generally won't either unless I have some very pressing important matter to attend to. I can talk for hours. And I have a lot of good stories. And it's not that I've necessarily found a lack of people to talk to. I have people to talk to, but they don't have as much in common with me as they used to, and that makes me feel lonely.

I am also a very physical person. I enjoy a good hug, a good cuddle, a good kiss. Despite that, I have never been afforded such pleasures on any sort of regular basis, up until a very recent period of time. And I had learned to deal with that. I was settled into my lifestyle, and I was fine with it. It wasn't ideal, but it was fine, it was tolerable.

Then somebody showed up and essentially showed me everything I've been missing. Going back to the complacent satisfied lifestyle I had before is no longer an option. Because I am lonely. And it's a different kind of loneliness than I had ever experienced, and I'm not really sure what you're supposed to do about it.

I think the biggest problem is, I've been changing and growing a lot recently. I am a completely different person from the person I was a year ago. But this new person who has come out of her shell and done all these things that she used to be so scared of has no place in the life I was living a year ago. Working through my issues, and becoming braver and stronger has been great for me, but yet, somehow braver, stronger me has more trouble dealing with being alone. So braver, stronger me has been trying to find people to spend her time with - intellectually, physically, whatever - and continues to get shut down. And this makes her trudge home with her tail between her legs, wallowing in her loneliness.

Have you ever felt particularly lonely after going through a lot of changes in your life? Have you ever felt like you were developing a different personality? Do you think that feeling lonely is a weakness? What do you do to stop yourself from feeling lonely.

damn.....

I'm a confused person with to much going on and don't need any added drama so if you intend to fuck with my head or play games, leave me the hell alone. I have NO use for you or your petty fucking games. I'm an honest person and expect the same from any person who wants to have anything to do with me and my life. I don't fuck with others emotion's or head's so I expect the same. Now...I'm a laid-back go-with-the-flow person but can get pretty crazy at times. I'm very sweet and open-minded. At the same time, I'm very opinionated and will stand up for what I believe in. I'm probably one of the most open people you will ever meet so if you don’t want to know what I think don’t ask. I tell you what I think, when I think it, and if I want to know something, I will ask and I expect you to do the same for me…

Ladies, I wanna shout all this from Mountain tops!!!

1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

3. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

4. Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.

5 . Slower is better.

6. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

7. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

8. Don't settle.

9. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

10. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

11. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

12. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

13. Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

14. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

15. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

16. You cannot change a man's behaviors. Change comes from within.

17. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job.

18. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less

19. Never let a man define who you are.

20. Never borrow someone else's man.

21. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

22. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

23 . All men are NOT dogs.

24. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.

25. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

26. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.

27. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

28. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and your always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.

29. Never move into his mother's house.

30. Never co-sign for a man.

31. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

why do we starve??

I have been asking myself that alot lately. I have been questioning the various reasons I could have for doing this, scraping some and holding on to others.
Most of the time I don't question myself or the things that I do and the way I think. It's been nearly 6years since all the troubles started that i'm just used to myself the way I am. But that doesn't mean i'm not tired of being this way and that I don't think I can changed, or rather need to change. I do and I hope to someday.

This is what lead me down the path of 'self discovery' you could say...

I have asked my self many questions about why I self injure, why I continue to self injure and seem to be unable to completely stop and draw a line under it. I don't have many answers to them and i'm working on it.
The main question I was asking myself lately is why I am starving myself, why am I binging and purging and why does this seem normal to me.

I thought to myself about what had changed that could lead to me wanting to starve. I thought about the decision I made to stop self injuring, not just for a while, but forever. I thought about the last time I decided the same thing and as with this time, I began starving, binging and purging and loosing weight.
So that struck me as a insight and I thought more about it.
I compared the stopping now to other times that I had no self injured for a significant length of time and the difference was the fact that those times I had no actively decided to stop, the need was just not there. This time though I have decided to stop and adds considerable measure to ensuring that I don't self injure and maintaining control over the urges and not letting them get to me so that I will ultimately self injure and so not recover.
That's where the starving and such comes in.
The one thing I have when I self injure is self control. Something that is very important to me, I have to have self control, I have to have organisation and things have to be going occording to plan. As soon as I decided to stop self injuring that self control is taken away, or rather the method to gain the self control when it has been lost is taken away. I then need to replace this, or find another way to feel as though I have the control.
With the self harm I have the abilty to regain control anytime it is lost. But without it, i'm so afraid that I will lose all control that I replace the self injury with something that I am able to control all the time. And thus never losing control and not needing to self injure. Hence the starving.
The controlling of food means that at all times throughtout the day I can think to myself that I am in control. If I need more control, I can eat less or exercise more and the weight lose then becomes a sign of the control that I have. The more I lose the more I am in control. This constant control also seems to mask the urges to self injure and so when I get them they are not as prominent in my head and I am able to overcome them.
Although at times I do lose control and this is where the binging and purging comes in to play. At times when things are out of my control, I have the urge to binge and then purge, aswell as the need to self injure. These urges of binging are much easier to handle and I do not give in to them as easily as I would to an urge to self injure that was of the same magnitude.
So although I have been nearly 5weeks with out cutting, I have not been 5weeks without any self injury. Starving, binging, purging and such as all forms of self injury. I am proud that I have not self injured in the cutting or buring sense for almost 5weeks. But the onlt reason I have acheived this is because I am blocking out the urges by starving because I know that I will not be able to fight them otherwise.
I could stop starving, if I try hard enough I could stop. But then I could start self injuring again and that's not what I want. I don't want to risk letting go of this control that I have incase I cannot fight the urges to self injure on my own. I don't think I am strong enough to do that. Not right now anyway. Maybe one day.
So for now I will carry on and one day I will have the strength to deal with the self injury head on and finally be recovered....

broke?? you are not broke.. you big daddy, quit your bloodclot cryin!!!

I am SO sick of hearing twenty-somethings complain about how broke they are.
You young ass, fiscally irresponsible so-and-so's are making me mad.
I know lots of people like you.
You want people to think you’re hard up for cash, hurting for money, you’ve got short pockets, assets in the negative, broke as a joke.
You cry about how broke you are to anyone who will listen and then you turn around and buy something ridiculously expensive that you didn't even need.
You’re not broke – you just want everyone to think you are.