Sunday
damn.....
I'm a confused person with to much going on and don't need any added drama so if you intend to fuck with my head or play games, leave me the hell alone. I have NO use for you or your petty fucking games. I'm an honest person and expect the same from any person who wants to have anything to do with me and my life. I don't fuck with others emotion's or head's so I expect the same. Now...I'm a laid-back go-with-the-flow person but can get pretty crazy at times. I'm very sweet and open-minded. At the same time, I'm very opinionated and will stand up for what I believe in. I'm probably one of the most open people you will ever meet so if you don’t want to know what I think don’t ask. I tell you what I think, when I think it, and if I want to know something, I will ask and I expect you to do the same for me…
Ladies, I wanna shout all this from Mountain tops!!!
1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
3. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
4. Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
5 . Slower is better.
6. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
7. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
8. Don't settle.
9. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
10. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
11. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
12. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
13. Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
14. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
15. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
16. You cannot change a man's behaviors. Change comes from within.
17. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job.
18. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less
19. Never let a man define who you are.
20. Never borrow someone else's man.
21. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
22. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
23 . All men are NOT dogs.
24. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.
25. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
26. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
27. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
28. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and your always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
29. Never move into his mother's house.
30. Never co-sign for a man.
31. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
3. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
4. Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
5 . Slower is better.
6. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
7. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
8. Don't settle.
9. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
10. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
11. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
12. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
13. Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
14. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
15. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
16. You cannot change a man's behaviors. Change comes from within.
17. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job.
18. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less
19. Never let a man define who you are.
20. Never borrow someone else's man.
21. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
22. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
23 . All men are NOT dogs.
24. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.
25. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
26. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
27. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
28. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and your always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
29. Never move into his mother's house.
30. Never co-sign for a man.
31. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
why do we starve??
I have been asking myself that alot lately. I have been questioning the various reasons I could have for doing this, scraping some and holding on to others.
Most of the time I don't question myself or the things that I do and the way I think. It's been nearly 6years since all the troubles started that i'm just used to myself the way I am. But that doesn't mean i'm not tired of being this way and that I don't think I can changed, or rather need to change. I do and I hope to someday.
This is what lead me down the path of 'self discovery' you could say...
I have asked my self many questions about why I self injure, why I continue to self injure and seem to be unable to completely stop and draw a line under it. I don't have many answers to them and i'm working on it.
The main question I was asking myself lately is why I am starving myself, why am I binging and purging and why does this seem normal to me.
I thought to myself about what had changed that could lead to me wanting to starve. I thought about the decision I made to stop self injuring, not just for a while, but forever. I thought about the last time I decided the same thing and as with this time, I began starving, binging and purging and loosing weight.
So that struck me as a insight and I thought more about it.
I compared the stopping now to other times that I had no self injured for a significant length of time and the difference was the fact that those times I had no actively decided to stop, the need was just not there. This time though I have decided to stop and adds considerable measure to ensuring that I don't self injure and maintaining control over the urges and not letting them get to me so that I will ultimately self injure and so not recover.
That's where the starving and such comes in.
The one thing I have when I self injure is self control. Something that is very important to me, I have to have self control, I have to have organisation and things have to be going occording to plan. As soon as I decided to stop self injuring that self control is taken away, or rather the method to gain the self control when it has been lost is taken away. I then need to replace this, or find another way to feel as though I have the control.
With the self harm I have the abilty to regain control anytime it is lost. But without it, i'm so afraid that I will lose all control that I replace the self injury with something that I am able to control all the time. And thus never losing control and not needing to self injure. Hence the starving.
The controlling of food means that at all times throughtout the day I can think to myself that I am in control. If I need more control, I can eat less or exercise more and the weight lose then becomes a sign of the control that I have. The more I lose the more I am in control. This constant control also seems to mask the urges to self injure and so when I get them they are not as prominent in my head and I am able to overcome them.
Although at times I do lose control and this is where the binging and purging comes in to play. At times when things are out of my control, I have the urge to binge and then purge, aswell as the need to self injure. These urges of binging are much easier to handle and I do not give in to them as easily as I would to an urge to self injure that was of the same magnitude.
So although I have been nearly 5weeks with out cutting, I have not been 5weeks without any self injury. Starving, binging, purging and such as all forms of self injury. I am proud that I have not self injured in the cutting or buring sense for almost 5weeks. But the onlt reason I have acheived this is because I am blocking out the urges by starving because I know that I will not be able to fight them otherwise.
I could stop starving, if I try hard enough I could stop. But then I could start self injuring again and that's not what I want. I don't want to risk letting go of this control that I have incase I cannot fight the urges to self injure on my own. I don't think I am strong enough to do that. Not right now anyway. Maybe one day.
So for now I will carry on and one day I will have the strength to deal with the self injury head on and finally be recovered....
Most of the time I don't question myself or the things that I do and the way I think. It's been nearly 6years since all the troubles started that i'm just used to myself the way I am. But that doesn't mean i'm not tired of being this way and that I don't think I can changed, or rather need to change. I do and I hope to someday.
This is what lead me down the path of 'self discovery' you could say...
I have asked my self many questions about why I self injure, why I continue to self injure and seem to be unable to completely stop and draw a line under it. I don't have many answers to them and i'm working on it.
The main question I was asking myself lately is why I am starving myself, why am I binging and purging and why does this seem normal to me.
I thought to myself about what had changed that could lead to me wanting to starve. I thought about the decision I made to stop self injuring, not just for a while, but forever. I thought about the last time I decided the same thing and as with this time, I began starving, binging and purging and loosing weight.
So that struck me as a insight and I thought more about it.
I compared the stopping now to other times that I had no self injured for a significant length of time and the difference was the fact that those times I had no actively decided to stop, the need was just not there. This time though I have decided to stop and adds considerable measure to ensuring that I don't self injure and maintaining control over the urges and not letting them get to me so that I will ultimately self injure and so not recover.
That's where the starving and such comes in.
The one thing I have when I self injure is self control. Something that is very important to me, I have to have self control, I have to have organisation and things have to be going occording to plan. As soon as I decided to stop self injuring that self control is taken away, or rather the method to gain the self control when it has been lost is taken away. I then need to replace this, or find another way to feel as though I have the control.
With the self harm I have the abilty to regain control anytime it is lost. But without it, i'm so afraid that I will lose all control that I replace the self injury with something that I am able to control all the time. And thus never losing control and not needing to self injure. Hence the starving.
The controlling of food means that at all times throughtout the day I can think to myself that I am in control. If I need more control, I can eat less or exercise more and the weight lose then becomes a sign of the control that I have. The more I lose the more I am in control. This constant control also seems to mask the urges to self injure and so when I get them they are not as prominent in my head and I am able to overcome them.
Although at times I do lose control and this is where the binging and purging comes in to play. At times when things are out of my control, I have the urge to binge and then purge, aswell as the need to self injure. These urges of binging are much easier to handle and I do not give in to them as easily as I would to an urge to self injure that was of the same magnitude.
So although I have been nearly 5weeks with out cutting, I have not been 5weeks without any self injury. Starving, binging, purging and such as all forms of self injury. I am proud that I have not self injured in the cutting or buring sense for almost 5weeks. But the onlt reason I have acheived this is because I am blocking out the urges by starving because I know that I will not be able to fight them otherwise.
I could stop starving, if I try hard enough I could stop. But then I could start self injuring again and that's not what I want. I don't want to risk letting go of this control that I have incase I cannot fight the urges to self injure on my own. I don't think I am strong enough to do that. Not right now anyway. Maybe one day.
So for now I will carry on and one day I will have the strength to deal with the self injury head on and finally be recovered....
broke?? you are not broke.. you big daddy, quit your bloodclot cryin!!!
I am SO sick of hearing twenty-somethings complain about how broke they are.
You young ass, fiscally irresponsible so-and-so's are making me mad.
I know lots of people like you.
You want people to think you’re hard up for cash, hurting for money, you’ve got short pockets, assets in the negative, broke as a joke.
You cry about how broke you are to anyone who will listen and then you turn around and buy something ridiculously expensive that you didn't even need.
You’re not broke – you just want everyone to think you are.
You young ass, fiscally irresponsible so-and-so's are making me mad.
I know lots of people like you.
You want people to think you’re hard up for cash, hurting for money, you’ve got short pockets, assets in the negative, broke as a joke.
You cry about how broke you are to anyone who will listen and then you turn around and buy something ridiculously expensive that you didn't even need.
You’re not broke – you just want everyone to think you are.
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