And finally its over...

I guess my whole life I've been looking for love. I really did think I found it with him (the guy i talked about in my autobiography). I never imagined things would end this way, that I could find someone who would make me happier, that would treat me this much better.

All I'd ever hear him talk about was us, our future, and our life together. All I'd ever hear from him were lies.

I always knew how he felt, but how I felt never mattered. So long as he was happy so was I. As long as we were okay, I was just fine. When I needed him the most he was never there. When I'd talk about myself he'd pay no attention. When I needed his support he'd give it to someone else. & When he fucked up he'd find a way to put the blame on me.

Despite everything I learned to live with it. It was almost as if he was taking over my life. I couldn't do anything without asking him about it, I felt like I needed to hear his opinion on everything before I dared to do a single thing. My entire conversation with friends consisted of him, and only him. Besides I rarely talked to most friends anymore... and yet I never noticed because my main and only concern was talking to him.

He took over my life and made me believe it was love. Convinced me that with out him I had nothing, and for a while this seemed true. I can't thank God any more than I already have for helping me realize how blind I've been. I promise to never make the same mistake again.

Now we never speak, but for once I dont care. For once I'm taking it slow, taking one step at a time and seeing where things go. I've managed to find someone who truly makes me happy, not just because he's happy but because of all the things he says and does.. He's always there. He always listens. He's more than over protective and supportive. & Best of all, he takes full responsibility for all times he messes up.

Finally. :)