i wish.....

Anyway I am sooo bored soooo im just writing stupid stuff in here to keep my mind occupied.

The more I look at the world around me, the more I wish I could immerse myself in a story, a fairy tale, a novel, a poem, a manga, any form of fiction but this autobiography I'm living in. Some days are fine, some days good, some days I wish I were another person entirely. But most days I'm just frightened, frustrated, & confused.

At least within a story, I know my place. Within a story, I know which part to play & how the story ends.

When you write a story, you're in control of the thoughts pouring through your characters' heads. You know all their thoughts & feelings. You know their backgrounds & their histories. You know where they're going in life, & what their intentions really are.

Not in life, though. In life, you are completely alone. It's all a guessing game.

Life is a test where all the questions are problem solving or analysis,
& no one warned you before hand that you had to learn all of this.

We're born alone, we die alone. We live, essentially, alone.

If only my life were a story, I'd know if all of this had a good ending. I'd know how my family & friends will get on when I'm gone or if they'll go before I do...

I'd find out what the answer to life's tests are; hopefully a lot sooner than the final chapter. But it isn't, so I won't.
Back to the Bio, I guess...