Reasons why it sucks to be a woman!!!!!

Never trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and won't die."
-South Park


I hate that "monthly visit from Aunt Flo." Want to know what I hate even more, beyond words and with a passion, during this time? MEN. It's like the first sign of PMS and first sign of slight cramps and it's like "OHP! YOU HAVE A PENIS, YOU NEED TO DIE!" because you will NEVER know what kind of hell this is. Ever. You lucky bastard.

But joke's on you! You have to put up with half the population going crazy at some point of the month!

Here's a couple of reasons why I hate being a woman with an "Aunt Flo":

1. My emotions go bonkers, and I seriously can't help it.
I want to cry over nothing, get angry over nothing and feel extremely irritated 24/7 for 7-14 days. Everything is taken personally. EX:" You didn't kiss me right when you saw me? You must not love me. You're just using me." I get extremely irrational and everything upsets me. In short, I turn into a psycho bitch.

You think you can't handle being around me while I'm on my rag, how do you think I feel having to be in my own head like this?!

2. I hate men. End of story.
During my agonizing bleeding, I automatically hate men. Again, I can't help it, I DO NOT want to be anywhere near a man and my want/need of being around women goes up dramatically. I guess because women would understand my irrationality, pain and what I'm going through where a man would not. Men will NEVER know. You will never understand the pain of having to go through this every month, let alone go through other womanly functions such as giving birth. I hope all men get kidney stones at some point in their life, as this is the only thing that could be compared to/be worse than child birth.

3. It fucking hurts.
I can't speak for all women, but for the most part, being on your period hurts like hell. Especially for me, as there is a very good chance that I have endometriosis. Cramps for me get so sever that doctors will willingly give me hospital orders for morphine, I can't lift my head without throwing up and I have terrible radiating pain (everything from my stomach to my lower back and kidneys hurt. It feels like someone just focused in on kicking me with steel toed boots for 15 minutes in that area).

4. Cravings
...are ridiculous. I know I get horrible cravings and it's usually for protein and sugar. So... while Aunt Flo is in town, my diet consists of steak (or any meat substance), fish and waffles. Usually eaten at the same time. Together. Or peanutbutter and Oreos with a deli sandwich on sourdough bread. Or tomato soup mixed with garlic mashed potatoes and waffles with some cranberry juice mixed with 7Up. I know that sometimes they get so bad that I can't go to sleep at night, I HAVE to have what I'm craving.

5. You eat like a pig.
This ties in with number 4. The food network no longer becomes a channel that you just flip past on TV or for learning how to cook something new... it becomes porn. You want to eat anything and everything. You crave food like a crazy pregnant woman and you want your food now. You don't believe in sharing [maybe you didn't in the first place, but hey I'm just saying...], you act like a total fatass and get angry when someone takes any of your food or eats the last of whatever you had your eye on. You get upset at parties for waiting so long for the cake, only to find out it tastes like shit. You. Want. Food. Now.

6. You retain enough water to be considered a second species of camel.
I drink a butt load of water and on a regular basis. I drink passively. If there's a bottle of water (which there always is) I'll just drink it until all of a sudden there's about 6 water bottles on my desk in a matter of a few hours. So when I'm on my period, this causes problems. I'll drink about 5-8 bottles of water (guesstimating on average) on a given day and only pee like 2 times the WHOLE day. I don't even think it would even qualify as "taking a piss" so much as "tinkling" I pee so little.

7. Your self esteem goes through the floor.
This pretty much encompasses everything stated above. You get irrational, emotional, act and eat like a fatass and gain about 10 lbs. in water weight. Do I really need to explain why our self esteem smashes through the floor?? None of our clothes fit, everything feels too tight, you perceive yourself a lot differently on your period and it's usually negatively, so you definitely feel like you're fat and you think you look even fatter and it doesn't help that while you're thinking that while looking in the mirror all you can do is think about having a brownie sundae and go to sleep afterwords.