What is life after a break up?

Breaking up from a relationship is either ‘’just-one-of-those things” or a bad blow to your emotions, in short, you end up in an emotional whirlwind and you have no idea how to get out. So, how does one deal with such situations?

Let us look at how people are dealing with break ups. Some people find themselves very lost and depressed that they resort to all kinds of distractions like drugs, alcohol and overeating and even non-committal relationships which get them the high that they want. However, as the temporary ‘high’ that they experience wear off, they find themselves more dependent on these and so more depressed than ever until they are faced with another deeper problem: addiction. Statistics show that women tend to resort to overeating and binge shopping when experiencing emotional hang ups while men turn to drugs and alcohol. These are the self-destructive reactions. No wonder the society is teeming with people who are in bad shape psychologically, physically and of course, financially.

But there are better ways. Some strong-willed people, rather than mope with their heartaches, would channel their attention on some other things. They opt to change and even consider break ups as a turning point in their lives by changing careers, acquiring a new hobby, getting more busy with work, meeting other people and involving in civic and charitable work. They find themselves stronger people as a result and the break up has done them good in the end. However, sometimes when the interest in the change is only superficial or sees it as mere temporary distraction, the problem persists. One may find himself in another relationship which will eventually end up in the same manner or worse. Or one may not even get out of the emotional trauma, finding himself/ herself with depleted self-esteem and unwilling, consciously or unconsciously, to get into another relationship.

So far the best option for anyone is to seek professional or spiritual help. With psychotherapy or hypnotherapy, one may even be helped get to the root of a relationship problem, the how and why he/she tends to be attracted to negative destructive relationships or just to bring back his/her confidence or how to forgive his/her ex and himself/ herself, etc. But these can take a long time aside from being expensive. Meditation and spiritual retreats are the growing trend these days. Many of these centers are found in Asia where meditation techniques originate from oriental religions.

With the different meditation techniques, one finds peace with himself and his being and his thoughts are in harmony with the universe or God. There is an old adage saying that only a person who loves himself can find enough love to give to others. Therefore, one is taught first to find, understand, love and believe in oneself before venturing to other relationships. Benefits that anyone can derive from meditation include inner peace and happiness, forgiveness and understanding of oneself and other human beings, even healing of ailments, more focus, becoming more tuned in to God, and much more benefits that modern science is now trying to explain. In other words, there is really no fear of getting stuck with a broken heart. Break ups should only be treated as learning experiences.